My 20s were filled with abuse, death, love, and finding myself.
The first time I wrote this out it was long and detailed and probably pretty boring to those of you who don’t know me. So here’s the cliff notes of the last 10 years.
Stupidly got married at 20 y/o while in college(2009) Guy was an abusive tool.
Dropped out of college at his bequest.
Got pregnant in late 2010.
Lost the baby at 39 weeks and 4 days(June 2011).
Guy started cheating and eventually left me for another woman. (June 2012)
Realizing that I was 23, divorced, and had already buried my child, I got on a dating site and went through a very short “wild period”.
Met a guy on that dating site who wanted more than just one night. (Sept. 2012)
After therapy and time, finally let that guy in. (March 2013)
He was patient with me and helped me through my ptsd. He understood that I didn’t want kids.
He convinced me to go back to school for my bachelors.
2 years after we met we got engaged. He was the best thing to ever happen to me. I was truly happy. (Aug 2014)
1 year after that we found out I was pregnant(September 2015). I was mortified, terrified, and absolutely didn’t want that baby.
Set up an appt at a clinic to terminate the pregnancy. Many long talks later we decided to keep it.
A most terrifying and stress filled 9 months later(may 2016), out pops a healthy baby girl. She was one of the two best things to ever happen to me. She filled a hole in my heart that I didn’t know I had.
A while(September 2016) later we walk down the aisle with our four month daughter as an honorary flower girl.
A couple months after that (December 2016), I graduated with my bachelors in marketing.
2 years later, (after being pressured about having another kid so Charlie doesn’t turned out “spoiled”) we decided(resistently) to have another kid.
Got pregnant February 2018.
I spent the entire pregnancy feeling like we made a mistake and being afraid I was going to hate my child.
We had a boy(October 2018), and it was love at first site. He is one of the three best things that could ever happen to me.
If you would have told me, 10 years ago, everything that I would go through, I’d never believe you. I’d never believe that I was strong enough for the first half or lucky enough for the second.
Sometimes things happen for a reason. If I wouldn’t have lost my son, I might still be with my abusive ex. Id never have met my current husband, and I never would have had my two amazing kids. God works in mysterious ways.
I’m turning 30 in February and ready to start my next decade off on a much happier foot!!!! I MADE IT!!!!!!