Im no supermom

This past weekend was my birthday, so my husband took the kids. He cooked and cleaned and for one entire day, I laid in bed and watched movies.

This was the first time in the entirety of our marriage that I was able to relax. Not because he never did stuff like this. On the contrary, he’s tried his hardest to get me to stop helping over the years.

No, I could never relax because of the guilt. The guilt of not being able to do everything myself. The guilt of needing a break or letting the house get messy.

We have come a long way in gender equality but we still consider it a woman’s job to help. We still think we are lucky if we have a husband who helps around the house or with the kids.

Why should we feel lucky? It’s his house too. They’re his kids too. Staying at home with kids is not easy. Sometimes you don’t have time to clean the house or finish the laundry.

I understand that going to work outside of the home every day is hard too. I’m not saying that the man should have to come home from a long day and wait on the woman hand and foot. I’m just saying that they should be partners.

My husband works very hard at his job, but just like at home, some days are harder than others. If I know that he’s having a rough day, I’ll put extra effort into trying to make it so he can come home and relax.

And ya know what? He does the same thing. If our son has kept me up all night with feedings or our daughter is throwing temper tantrums all day, he tells me not to worry about doing a bunch of chores and that he will tackle it when he gets home.

Most of the time we split it because with a 3 month old with separation anxiety, sometimes that’s the only way anything gets done.

He’s my partner. We both give 50%. Some days one of us will give 75% while the other relaxes, but it’s never one sided for long.

I have finally learned that it’s okay to let him help. I shouldn’t feel guilty. I don’t need to do everything by myself.

Im no supermom

Murphy’s law and One lonely nugget

This morning, after another night of not getting any sleep because of my son Jackson’s(3 months) acid reflux, I made an appt with my doctor. The only availability was right at my daughter Charlie’s(2.5 years) naptime but it was going to be a 10 minute appt, so no big deal.

About 5 minutes before we need to leave, I go to start my SUV and see that my husband took it to work this morning(there had been a huge snow storm yesterday and his car doesn’t handle as well in snow). That wouldn’t have been a problem if he had the spare baby car seat installed in his car.

So I spend the next ten minutes looking everywhere for the base, getting it installed, and getting the kids in the car.

We make it to the doctors just in time, but as I’m getting the kids out of the car, I realize the diaper bag was in MY car. That means no toys to keep my toddler happy, no diapers, wipes, snacks, etc. I was a little annoyed at the situation but, again, it was only supposed to be a 10 minute visit. There were only 3 people in front of me in the waiting room.

90 MINUTES LATER we are finally called back, my son has soaked through his diaper, my daughter is climbing up the walls, and I have a migraine.

We see the doctor for a whopping 5 minutes(I don’t know how it took 90 minutes to get through 3 people when I took 5 😡), I have a prescription for liquid Zantac, and I’m out the door.

I get the kids in and as I’m climbing into the car, I realize I am starving. I always forget to eat during the day because I’m running around feeding the kids and cleaning, so my stomach was grumbling big time.

Pass a McDonald’s on the way home, can’t pass it up and for some reason nuggets sound awesome. Sounds easy peasy right? Yea… well I get up to the window to order and realize that my wallet is ALSO in the other car. I look at the change in the cup holder and figure I have enough for a 6 piece, which is enough for me so no big deal.

I order and then of course I get stuck in the snow on my way to pay. I spend 3 minutes getting unstuck(thank goodness there was no one behind me until the end), and make it up to the window and hand the cashier my pathetic handful of change.

I get my food and I’m so excited to eat that my mouth is actually watering. I open the box, grab a nugget and from the backseat I hear “food please?” I look back and see my daughter staring excitedly at the nugget in my hand. I fed her lunch about an hour before we left but that was now three hours ago so of course she’s hungry again.

Doing the motherly thing, I rip off the top to the box, put half the nuggets in and hand it back to her. Now I’m down to three nuggets. Disappointing but still enough to tide me over until I get home.

I start the drive home and right as I pick up my first nugget I hit a minor patch of ice. Nothing enough to be dangerous but, of course, it was enough to send my two remaining nuggets onto the dirty, slush covered floor under my feet. I felt like crying at this point.

I look in the rear view mirror and see my daughter, happy as can be, with a half eaten nugget in each hand and one already eaten, and I spend the rest of the drive nibbling on my one lonely nugget….

The moral of the story? Don’t ever leave your house. Ever. Just stay home.

Dating myself

My biggest regret is that I never dated myself. Now I might never get the chance.

Did any of you jump from relationship to relationship?

I was so afraid to be alone, that I never was. I wasn’t picky about who I dated, just that I was with someone. I’ll tell you what, sometimes my lack of standards really brought in the winners(sarcasm).

I’ve never even lived alone. I moved out of my parents house and in with my first husband. Then when we got divorced, his sister(yep. You read that right. HIS sister is my best friend) moved in to help me through it. Then my current husband moved in and eventually she moved out.

Now that I’m married with kids, that might be my biggest regret.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t regret getting married or having kids. My husband and my kids are my world. I just wish I would have lived a little BEFORE I met my husband.

I wish I would have spent more time on myself. I wish I would have taken a break to find out who I was and what I wanted.

I should have taken myself to the movies or out to dinner. I should have bought myself jewelry and a spa day. I should have showered myself with compliments and support.

I wish I would have lived by myself for a year or two and learned how to cook better. I wish I would have put as much effort into myself as I did in relationships.

There’s a good possibility that I won’t live alone until I’m much older(or never). I will never get to see what it’s like to only have to take carry of/worry about myself.

I have this dream where I wake up, crank some music, shower and get ready for work. Then afterwards I’d come home, cook something simple, and hang out in front of the tv.

I know I’d have to clean and do laundry but cleaning for one and doing one persons laundry sounds AMAZING! Think about it moms! Think about all of the laundry that CONSTANTLY needs to be washed/folded/put away. How much of that is yours?

I don’t know about y’all, but I HATE kids clothes. You think one basket is not that much but that one basket holds 50183948393729373 pieces of tiny shirts, pants, onesies, etc. Its a basket of LIES and DECEIT!

Plus doing laundry while watching kids. Or even better, when they want to HELP. That makes a 5 minute task take 15-20 minutes.

I miss doing laundry alone. I miss doing anything alone.

I recently took up wood whittling as a hobby. Cause what goes better with kids than sharp knives and blocks of wood…. 😣 I probably get two hours a week of hands free, kids free, time. Do you know how long it takes me to finish one project? Wayyyy more than 2 hours. If I were single, I’d love sitting down and whittling the day away.

The point is, I regret not taking time for myself. It’s an experience that I feel everyone should have. Plus I feel that if I spent this time figuring myself out, I’d have saved a lot of time and tears on the wrong guys.

I know being alone seems scary when you’re in highschool, college, and especially after college when you have to figure life out. But, when you find yourself married with kids and never alone, you’ll wish you could go back.

So if you’re like I was, and the fear of being alone makes you jump from one relationship to the next, maybe just take a break after the next breakup. Even just a month can teach you a lot.

If you’re like I am now, surrounded by people and noise and chaos, never ending piles of laundry and dishes, just wanting a day to curl up and read a good book, you’re not alone.

Try your hardest to find that time. It may not teach you life altering lessons, but it might stop you from pulling your hair out.

5X7

As I look around during the 4 am feeding, I can’t help but notice how much my life has changed.

I used to say “I want ONE room to put ALL the toys and whatnot. That way if anyone comes over, they get the illusion that we’re adults.”

Well obviously that didn’t happen because when I laid down for a nap today, I found a “little people”(my daughter and I named him Bob), under my sheets. Yes… Bob went places that no toy has gone before.

We have puzzle pieces in the living room, one of those annoying walk on pianos hiding in the office, and don’t even get me started on all of the toys that have snuck there way into our laundry.

I don’t think that there is a room in our entire house that doesn’t scream “KIDS HAVE TAKEN OVER OUR LIVES!!!”

Now we get to add tummy time mats, and baby swings to the mix. And don’t even get me started on the laundry and dishes that never seem to end!!!

While I sit here thinking about all of the chaos that our life has become, do you know how I feel???

Like I want A maid and a stiff drink!!!!!!

What? You thought that I was going to say that I feel blessed, loved and something or other about seeing the bigger picture?

Yea…. I guess I’m in more of a 5X7 mood tonight.

Later y’all